What If... An Unconventional Conversation About Weight, Self-Love, and Thinking Differently
Me & My Weight (this isn’t about weight-loss)
Over the last 3+ years, I’ve put on a significant amount of weight. Now, I don’t what you to think I’m here to make any big declarations about the journey I’m going to on to lose it, the severe restrictions I’m going to follow or to beat myself up for past transgressions that have gotten me to this moment. This post isn’t going to be about weight loss at all.
I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I have given my weight more worth and attention that it ever needed. While the skin I’m in right now may not feel in alignment with who I am at my truest essence, it is just skin.
The world in which we live
We live in a society that is, for a lack of better words, FUCKED when it comes to ideals around body, weight, and worthiness - particularly for women but for men too. Like proper fucked.
We hold ourselves to unrealistic standards and chase something that we think will eventually make us happy. The old, if…then scenario. We think weight can define who, why, and for how long we receive love from someone else. I can speak from personal experience on this because to there was a sliver of me that believed at one point that my ex had cheated because of my weight, that I didn’t deserve love and to be treated with love and integrity because of a few extra curves here and there.
There is still a part of me that carries shame for going home next week bigger than I’d like to be or frankly than I’ve ever been. Like people will equate it with my happiness, success, or ability to find love.
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK…
I’ve done a lot of introspection and journaling on and around this topic weight, body and our relationship to self over the last 6 months. I know that there is a layer of learning and growth to be had in this season of life that I’m in.
I know at its core, I am holding on to pain, trauma, and old beliefs that I need to feel and process before my body can release anything. I know that my weight is nothing more than weight. It doesn’t have a deeper meaning of love and worthiness. It can’t be blamed on anyone or thing. It just is.
This isn’t going to be a post where I tell you to just start loving yourself and the weight will fall off either. Mainly because this journey to loving oneself isn’t easy…and, to be honest, I’m not quite sure what it fully looks like yet or, to be truthful, I’m not totally bought in. But I am here to encourage you, and myself to do a few things.
Let’s Try this Instead
1// BE. Just be with who you are. You don’t have to love it or hate it. JUST BE. This means were aren’t chasing happiness on the other side of that 10+ pounds we want to lose. We are just here. Now.
2// SEE. See yourself. Like, really look at yourself. I’ve noticed over the past while I’ve even avoided looking at myself in the mirror, trying not to catch a glimpse as I step out of the shower or get changed every day. I believe to be in our bodies we also have to see ourselves. Again, without judgment, without nitpicking. Just look. We have bodies! How cool is that! I’m taking solace in the fact that my soul chose this body on purpose. It saw something in me so now it’s time for me to see that.
3// MAKE ROOM TO BREATHE. Whenever those shitty thoughts start spiralling on the things we hate. Take a breath. Give yourself a little breathing room away from the jerk that lives in your head.
4// CHALLENGE THE WAY YOU THINK. What if…we choose to talk and think differently? To dig deeper and choose something else.
Here is a post that I recently put up on Instagram that actually spurred the idea for this post, it’s all-around challenging the way that I think and comes from my own inner work. So, from my heart to yours…enjoy:
WHAT IF...
I've been thinking a lot about how we treat ourselves. How most of us, especially woman, grow to uphold ourselves to a completely unrealistic standard. We compare, we abuse, we neglect, we restrict, we isolate ourselves, and our bodies.
What if we started looking at things a little differently?
What if we truly saw our selves? In our perfectly imperfect beauty?
What if we softened and just lived?
What if we weren't always chasing something, thinking we'll be happier when we get there and just be happy now?
What if we make choices based on intentionality, compassion, and from a space of love?
What if when we noticed the spiral of the negative self-talk we forced ourselves to take a breath instead of engaging with the ego?
What if we stopped attaching our worth to anything or anyone other than our awesome selves? What if we stopped thinking someone else will love us more or less if we looked, acted, or thought in a different way.
What if we see that our soul chose this body and it's time to start working together and knowing that we are indeed one/
What if…
What if we just started by taking our next breath from a place of love, kindness, forgiveness, and compassion
What if.
❤️