ON BEING STUCK

Life is a cycle of seasons. Seasons of flow and seasons of stuckness. Being STUCK is a theme that has come up for me a lot in the last few weeks, so I think it warrants some deeper exploration.

In both my breathwork circle and coaching calls this week the topic of BEING STUCK was the overarching theme. I feel it too. I’m feeling stuck in my business, how I develop out SOULBODY into the thriving empire I know in my bones that it will be. I’m probably in the minority but I get this little thrill of excitement when this STUCK feeling starts to take over. While it is uncomfortable and frustrating, I’ve come to learn that the contrast it introduces to my life means something BIG and MEANINGFUL is about to emerge, I just don’t know what it is yet.

So let me ask you a few questions:

◬ WHERE DO YOU FEEL STUCK IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW?
◬ Do you notice that HOW you get stuck in one part of your life is often how you get stuck in most of them?
◬ What do you do when you feel stuck?
◬ Do you ride the wave or do you fight and resist with everything you’ve got?

TWO CAVEATS

First, how you move through life is a personal journey. I would love to tell you this is a definitive list and if you do THESE five things you will live in flow for eternity. Our ego loves quick fixes, defined journeys, and to fit this infinite world into a linear path. Sadly life has a different plan for each of us, you see where the friction begins here, right? The steps below or ones I use myself when I’m feeling low vibe and need to shake things up or when I feel like I’m out of options, at a loss for ideas or feel like I’m pushing up against a limit or on the edge of something big.

Second, we are never truly stuck. 🤯 Right?!

We feel stuck because we aren’t meeting expectations that we have on where we SHOULD be, where we desire to be looks different than we thought, we aren’t getting there fast enough or the journey looks different than we thought it would.

Feeling stuck can often be categorized by feelings of anxiety, of being lost, of fear, of disappointment, or of desperation. I think we get stuck when we shift from the FLOW of operating from our heart space to the CONTRAST of operating from a place where our ego is running the show. We are trying to control a situation, an outcome, an experience. In essence, it goes hand-in-hand with what I call SOFTENING, which we’ll get into in the list below.

So, the next time you are feeling stuck with something in your life, it’s time to get curious, move some energy, ignite your creativity and come at it from a new angle. Let’s get into the list, shall we?

5 WAYS TO GET UNSTUCK

MOVE YOUR BODY (literally).

When I’m in it (that’s the term I use for going through the tough stuff) and really feeling stuck, I take a time out and commit to moving my body. My intention isn’t to get exercise or to lose weight, it’s to step away from the fire and to my energy. I’ll go walk my dog, go to the gym, dance to a groovy song, stretch, anything to get my blood pumping a little and the energy in my body moving. I have had some of my biggest break throughs when I take a mindfulness break and move my body. I am firm believer that creative solutions come when we move our energy around.

Make a list of 5 was you love to move your body and refer back to that list when you you are feeling stuck.

DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOUR SOUL SING

What are the things, or activities that you get lost in? That bring you joy and peace? That raise your vibe, cheer you up, make you smile? What are the simple things you do with your day that make you feel like you are in complete alignment with who you are at your core?

These things on your list reflect you when you are at your highest expression of self. When your heart is open to receiving and your vibration is elevated. At the core of what we desire, is usually a feeling of joy, love, and flow. These activities are ways to incorporate, or put yourself in the feeling of what you most desire each and every day. And you know what happens when we are expressing at our highest version of self? Clarity, creativity, and flow.

For me, touching my toes in the sand or being close to the ocean is when I am happiest. If I’m feeling low or like I’m struggling on which direction to move in, I head to the beach. If the beach isn’t accessible (I live in Canada and winter isn’t the most ideal time to hit the beach) I’ll listen to ocean sounds in my meditation.

What makes your soul sing? Make a list of 10 things and keep it handy for those sticky moments.

GET CURIOUS ON THE ROOT OF YOUR STUCK-NESS

Approaching your stuckness with curiosity and a willingness to look inward is a huge step towards moving through it and through it is the only way, well…through it.

I’m a firm believer that to make waves in our life and to change things up, stillness and awareness are key. If you are willing to look inward and see that there is probably a truth you are denying, a belief or outcome you are clinging to, you create breathing room and breathing room invites in the opportunity for growth and newness. Often we are being backed into a corner by a fear or a belief about not being enough.

If this resonates, go deeper: Why do we feel that? When else in our life have we felt that? Where would your soul say to that earlier version of you that needed to feel supported, loved, or validated?

Essentially, what we are doing when we ask ourselves questions like this that get to the root of our fears and stuckness, we create space. After all, you can’t fill an already full cup. This is similar, you have to empty out a belief that you no longer need to allow for new possibilities.

WHAT IF WE LET THINGS BE EASY?

Do you ever find yourself saying, “This is just really hard?” I know I’m guilty of this, spiralling into a tunnel of self pity and complaining about how hard life is, looking for validation that my life is indeed hard. Looking from the outside in, I’m giving my power to the mindset of life being hard, I’m playing victim.

What happens when we shift our mindset and instead of putting up the defence of things being hard, we allow them to be easy? We admit that, yes, there are challenges but in general, life can be easy. Sounds interesting, right? But, If you are like me, the first place my mind goes to is

HOW. HOW DO I ‘JUST’ LET THINGS BE EASY.

Well friends, it starts with being present. Living in the moment. It’s rooted in our soul’s intentions and remembering what is most important to us and it helps when we get to the root of our stickiness (See previous step) and then, take one step. One step forward. That one step can be so minuscule that you feel like it barely makes a difference or that one step can be doing nothing, softening (See step 5). But that step creates moment and shows the powers that be that you are prepared to move through the mud to get to your desires.

SOFTEN

In my honest opinion, we get stuck when we are fixated on an outcome or are anticipating things to go a certain way - which at its core is control and fear-based. When we soften we create space, breathing room, for not what we EXPECT to happen but what is SUPPOSED to happen.

It’s when we loosen our firm grip that we have on what we think we know and allow for something even more beautiful, exciting and aligning to come in.

So how do you soften? The easiest way is to take a conscious breath, to move out of the perpetual motion of DOING and into the stillness of BEING. Often, when we get still and tune into your heart, you can hear the whispers of the heart. So take resistance and stickiness as your cue to slow down and soften. It might indicate that you are trying to control a situation and not allowing room for flow. Trust that the universe is at play and always has your best interest at heart. Allow it to lead you.